Saturday, December 10, 2011

Things That Might Make Mark Happy or Are at Least Worth Trying


1. Polenta cooked with chicken broth, prosciutto or bacon, parmesan, and plenty of red pepper. And eat with good steak and kale or collard greens, also cooked with butter and a bit of bacon until they caramelize a little bit.
2. Drink with Rogue Yellow Snow Ale or whatever IPA is bigger, pinier, and has more yeasty goodness floating around in it that I don't know about.
3. Feed also children in like manner, minus the ale. Instruct children to inquire about your childhood. Tell the happy stories and stories of near-death. And stories of being caught up into other people's stupidity and desperation, and imply that this sort of thing, although clearly not to be tried in the modern childhood, and you mean it, seriously, almost always ends well.
4. Listen to J Roddy Walston and the Business.
5. Listen to the Black Keys.
6. Listen to Neko Case's last two albums, the ones where she begins to talk to animals and restore the image of the Goddess. Talk to animals yourself.
7. You are now ready to read Leslie Marmon Silko's Ceremony. You really have to wonder a lot about the nature of Betonie's particular ceremony and of ceremonies in general. And you have to think about the way you map the universe onto your own geomorphology, climate, plants and animals.
8. Take a look at Eduardo Galeano's Memory of Fire trilogy.
9. Take more photos. I like your photos.
10. Watch "Le Quattro Volte". You were right about "Life in a Day". It's sort Human Truth Lite. But I still loved it, or like medium loved it.
11. Get outside and walk. It makes you feel better.
12. Buy beef bones, veal ideally, read the section on beef stock in Anthony Bourdain's Les Halles Cookbook. Make your own stock. The house is so chilly anyway, you might as well cook something. Salt to taste. Mmm, yum.
12. Maintain low-level, non-draining contact with a broad circle of people who help you think and feel. Be careful not to listen yourself to exhaustion.
13. Consider going back through bits and pieces of serious theology to see if it makes more sense now that you can sort through things, bring them into your own focus. You're not an angry reactive punk anymore: there are compensations.
14. Notice the center of your desires and the edges.
15. Get hugs. Give them, yes, but also get them. Feel them. No words or meaning, just hugs.
16. Consider writing the story of a ritual, or the story of how a ritual came to be and how it ordered the experience that called it up. Do experience and ritual shape each other? Is that just obvious?
17. I love you, friend.


Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Latest Outrages Against the Canons of Fashion and Good Sense

Ebayed, purchased and am presently swaddled in an enormous old shearling coat. Emma says, "Janis Joplin. Or, no, who's that English guy who froze at the north pole?" Beard is enormous and blonde with a big streak of white down the middle. Eyes increasingly crinkled, distant, indifferent, registering irritation and humor at wrong moments. Black cowboy boots with crazy Maori-Mex stitching make me about 6'7". The phrase "get-up" might come to mind. "Costume." "Assemblage." Excessive. Outlandish. I'm starting to resemble myself. Keep adding layers.

Touch off palpable alarm and mirth upon entering Trader Joe's. Talk with skinny jeans scraggly beard guy about cloudy olive oil, how it will clear up at room temperature, whether this is a room, what the temperature might be, the increased greenness of the oil when cloudy, the weirdness and beauty of olive oil. To the no-longer-refrigerated hand-whatevered flour tortillas, which are totally fucking excellent, which excel my own attempts at tortillas, now aborted. Draw looks of amusement and horrified quasi-admiration from a woman. Buy six bags of tortillas because sometimes they're out, because they're so dern good when coated with oil and crisped on cast iron skillet on stove and then doused in butter and cinnamon sugar. Dang.

When Penny, the daughter of a colleague, was four the universe said something to me through her. She turned up at school one day in a faux shearling with enormous tortoise shell Wayfarer's which she refused to take off for the duration of my attempted interrogation. She also wore a leopard print mini-skirt, lime leggings and super sparkly ruby red slippers. Totally awesome. Now that she is five and can tell what goes together we have begun to part ways. But no matter. There was a period of time there when she was my polestar: the distant, twinkling object on which I set my gaze and kept walking. Now I will find my own way.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Praise and Blame


"Laus et vituperatio"
Geoffrey Hill, from The Triumph of Love


Boating and alcohol and boots you can't break in,
and other things I'd explain if I knew where to begin.
It's true this family is a train wreck
scattered back to the Fall,
but there's no one to blame.
Those are your own footsteps in the hall.
That's all.

Bring misery match sticks,
I'll bring/ catastrophe kindling--
and meet me in the next dry forest--
we'll beat sparks from the same dead horse.
Now you work in the factory
where they make gods and governments
(but you're still not funny)
and angels that say, "No complaining"
and orphans who say, "No complaining."

Thatcher and Reagan. Pete Rose. Gene Simmons. You.
It's maybe okay I had nothing to say.
Who would I have said it to?
You said anger was just fashion, you said
"cowards" you said "liars".
And we were only fifteen but what we saw in the city
looked like real blood, real fires.

Bring misery match sticks,
I'll bring/ catastrophe kindling--
and meet me in the next dry forest--
we'll beat sparks from the same dead horse.
Now I work in the factory where they make
intestines and breastbones. We tune them like radios
to angels that say, "No complaining"
and orphans who say, "No complaining",
and rich men who say, "No complaining",
and junkies who say, "No complaining",
and widows who say, "No complaining".

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

All Our Bases Are Belong To Us

My friend tells me I've been working a combination, trying to crack the code. It's true. Ever since Christmas I wake at five am. Chest tense. Mind and heart working the tumblers. "There's got to be a way." Wantu. Sunandfog. Playback theater. A one-man show. The Hidden Life of Human Beings. Surprise Wedding. Triptykos. The Hearth. Slow Club. Love Your Enemy.

Call Beth in San Francisco see if she needs a guy meet with the board and offer them part-time Doug's got an opening on the mountain go to the college and make nice with the brainiac pitch the parenting book find the name of that one guy from the coffee shop last summer who said he did workshops for Monsanto send an email to Trent's hedge fund operator keep building the website find the email of the author who bought the Nicoise salad send the left over writing from the youth book to Martin in London meet with the pastor from West Virginia push for a meeting with the Blackberry guy demand Frank and Andy invite you to Phoenix get Girl and Bear to the historical society.

Don't forget to work the present means: men's retreat in Minneapolis, Church of God in Orlando, Lutheran family workers in Kansas City, Presbyterian teenagers in Dallas, a Valentine's fundraiser....
Then last night Joseph sits at the counter and says, "All our bases are belong to us."
"What? What did you say?"
"All our bases are belong to us."
I looked at him. "What does that mean?"
"There's this Japanese action movie dubbed in English. At one point this one guys says to the other guy, 'All our bases are belong to us.' It's like some messed up translation." Joseph heads back downstairs to his computer programming. I wash the dishes but I can't stop repeating out loud, "All our bases are belong to us." It just makes me so damn happy and centered and releases the knot in my chest: "All our bases are belong to us."

Again, last night I can't sleep. Working the tumblers. Working the tumblers. I repeat the mantra about our bases and who they belong to until I fall asleep.

This morning an artist friend sent me an email with subject: Gentlemen Storyteller. His name was Jay. It was a 17 minute clip from ninety-nine percent dot com. I watched as the elderly gentlemen explained how he'd been hired by NASA to tell their story for their 50th anniversary. He spent a year listening and reading and talking to people. Now he had a story to tell. He began to tell the story. Ten seconds into his story I felt the tumblers fall: Cherry. Cherry. Cherry. "This is it!" I yelled. "What?" My wife called downstairs from the kitchen. "What did you say?"

I called upstairs. "It's clicked. I found the combination!" I ran upstairs my chest exploding like fireworks. "What is it?" Jill asked. "I figured it out." My heart opening, opening, opening into a beautiful unknown. I look at Jill and smile, "All our bases are belong to us. All our bases are belong to us."

Saturday, January 22, 2011

In Praise of Restaurants

At the bottom of the hill I live on, there's this restaurant/bar called The Falls. I love the place, even though it's still imperfect. It's the place I most often go when I want to drink coffee or beer 'out'.

The hill is really one side of the valley that opens onto Baltimore city and eventually onto the Harbor of Baltimore. From the continental perspective, it's the spent end of the vast, rolling coastal plain that you descend onto when you climb down out of the Blue Ridge heading east. The Falls is where you end up, by one route or another, if you are immigrating from Appalachia, looking for factory work, fleeing the shift and final collapse of the economy that supported household farming through 20,000 years of settlement culture. You sell the dirt and head up the Blue Ridge, across the swaying backbone of Georgia, the Carolinas, Tennessee and the Virginias, you cross the rivers and horse pastures of Western Maryland, noting how curiously well the grass still thrives over Antietam, Harper's Ferry, Gettysburg. You pick your way along country highways, the meanderings of which seem to have forgotten whatever historical logic first trod them into being, until with Baltimore in the distance you travel the last sleeping suburban Main Streets and the growing disorienting swarms of wallboard mansions. Finally you come to modest old neighborhoods inhabited by the hand-to-mouth middle class, teetering above the collapsed industrial dead zones of Baltimore City. Welcome.

Finally, you peer down Sulgrave Avenue, over the last several million years of eroded time, and there at the bottom is Jones Falls. Falls is a regional word for 'river', and Jones Falls is the river that Baltimore used to power its mills, choked into a coma, and then built a highway over so as not to have to think about it. And curiously, most of the beautiful buildings along Jones Falls, under the roar of Jones Falls Expressway, are old stone and brick mill buildings that are a hundred times better able to shelter actual human warmth than the mansions you've climbed down past to stand here, at the bottom of Sulgrave, in the neighborhood of Mount Washington, in front of The Falls restaurant.

The Falls is not housed in one of these beautiful old mill buildings, but it squats near the warmth of the last one, near the expressway, the lightrail tracks and Jones Falls. God, I really hate the racket from the expressway, but there is some deep principle of gravity that draws us all to this intersection--me and the river, the highway, the edge of the neighborhood. I'll happily sit out in the heat and roar on a summer morning and scribble just for the pleasure of being near this sense of gravity. Even though it feels poisoned in some ways.

The Falls opened about two years ago in a storefront that for years had a Korean grocery with nearly nothing on the shelves. There was then a struggling and failed deli. The corned beef was awesome; the lighting was death. The place was just too big, inorganic somehow, yucky. You ate the too-expensive corned beef and fled, wishing them well but unable to stay. When the place closed it was depressing because, while there are several other restaurants in the same little part of Mount Washington Village, there was no place for people from the neighborhood, really. We have expensive taste but no money. Mount Washington Tavern is an expensive sports bar with bad beer that attracts aggressive young professionals on the prowl. Ethel & Ramone's does often-good Cajun fusion but it's expensive and dark. I don't really know why I don't like it there. Their gumbo is excellent and I've had a couple great evenings eating late on their front sidewalk on warm summer nights. The crepe place next door to E&R can be a great place to take one of the girls to talk and eat snails but I don't like the fussy little tables. Everything is like doll furniture that got sent through a bigulator, including the food, sort of.

The Falls always has nine beers on tap, often really interesting and beautiful, often local. Always an IPA, and always a stout or porter. The the food is only adequate but they make a good burger and there's also more interesting stuff if you want to try, and there's always veggie stuff if you're with a veggie, which I really appreciate. But what makes it part of the landscape to me is the restlessness of the owners, the way they've gradually made a restaurant that fits the weird L-shaped space, found lighting that drew the room towards its centers, filled in corners with bottles of whiskey and tequila, glasses of various shapes, drawn the eyes up with clay busts, with paintings and photos, books. And the wait staff and bartenders are smart and polite in a very human way. None of the particular decisions is all that important in itself, although the beer is crucial and the lighting was deathly and bad bread is really sort of literally depressing. What makes the place work is something else.

Luca Turin has called perfume "the most portable form of intelligence," which reframed some of my thinking about art. That is, art--for me, anyway--is defined in part by intelligence. All kinds, obviously. If something is artful or elegant it is in some way just right, fitting. And when something is fitting in an unexpected way, there is the delightful pop of discovery, that clicking in the brain when a new synaptic pathway switches on. And something that continues to grow with those sorts of clicks and shifts is alive and enlivening. To know a restaurant as a form of intelligence, to be around for some of the attempts to make it fit the place: these are, in the modest scale of an ordinary life, great pleasures.

The Falls is slowly becoming a place where they know the food and drink that they serve. They have chosen it mindfully and they eat and drink it themselves with real pleasure. They stand around and taste and speculate over the relative quality of the new charcuterie platter. They understand the pleasure of drinking good beer, and there I don't have to feel self-conscious about noticing and sometimes talking about the layers of sensation and flavor. It is becoming a place where a person who wishes to locate himself or herself in the senses can attempt to do so with some of the resources and types of thinking required to do that. No small thing.

The continent is behind you. The Falls is just down there, at the bottom of Sulgrave Avenue.